Each year we find ourselves celebrating how we have lived and cheer for a better tomorrow. Humanity is drawn by the promptings of loud music, beautiful colours of fireworks, stylish and sexy wear to complement the aftermath of intoxicating concoctions. New Year’s Eve parties offer a different side to our insanely routine universe.

The gaiety of a celebration is a self expression of hope, frustration and commitment to our resolution each year. I remember my last celebration which had an awful start as my date then threw a tantrum because we had to walk quite a distance while she was complaining about her make up and appearance. My resolution that year had been to talk to women better and i believe that night sealed my celebration as i succeeded in making her smile eventually.

One of my resolutions then was of course to assist in the search of curing cancer hence i sometimes turn on my PS3 despite not being an active gamer as i was told it would lend support to Stanford University’s Folding@home project. I knew my dad wouldn’t benefit from it but i hoped someday someone’s father will survive the limitations of the medical science today.

My career took another turn as well as i vowed to live a healthier and happier life. Journalism offered the best opportunity to understand humanity which i soon found egoistic ideals perpetuate internal conflicts that would only make me throw a sigh each day. It’s tough to work for women but it’s tougher to work for men who want to be treated like divas.

My late father was not too happy about my decision as he had always wanted to become a journalist. He said, i understand your anger but sometimes we have to deal with it while pursuing your dream. I could’t find it in me to tell him that i wasn’t sure of what my true dream was then. I broke his heart that day but i always told myself that i’ll make him proud one day. I learnt the hard way to never promise to yourself or others that you will do it someday in the future.

2011 woke me up. Sometimes i feel that abah is alive and well in Indonesia because i grew up without having him around most of the time. Our best conversations are always through BBM, SMS and random phone calls. He was my best friend,mentor and long distance father.

There was a time when i felt miserable and i called him up to hear his comforting and assertive voice. Abah said, “I’m sorry it’s my fault u’re having a bad day because i just made someone’s day miserable.” We both laughed and i told him to stop making cynical remarks to your staff because i’m paying for his karma.

That was my father, a man who could turn your life by just saying what was on his mind. It’s  time for all of us to do the same.

2012 will have a theme and it shall be ‘Led by spiritual needs’

I love you all and i will do my best in making your day better as well. That is a promise.

Merry Christmas all, i’m sorry if you dint get any presents from me this year cos of the prank i pulled on santa.

Women are natural bullies. One can’t help from feeling sympathetic and attempt to rationalise a bully’s reason for behaviour each time, but it is just absurd.

We strive for perpetual bliss and romanticism offers that? Wrong! That is the pseudonym for ‘delusion’. My previous writings have been offering a consistent approach to understanding women and their intimate intricacies. In spirit of welcoming a new year in few weeks time i believe it is time to change my perspective. Think nothing of love and just have fun.

Where can you find true love then? Well just find a mirror and you’ll be fine

In the past, wedding invites were sorted as junk mails (forgive me friends) and i was a real sceptic when it comes to devotion. Only time could change a man and after 12 years since my first true crush who became my girlfriend years after, now i’m finally open to the idea of finding the right person to marry. Perhaps i have matured like the Kurinji flower.

Adlyn Adnan & William See

“You can always have a girlfriend but having a wife is different…*laughs” -Yazid Ibrahim @ Abah

I was lucky enough to witness a fairytale wedding of Adlyn and William. Both are doctors who met during their uni years in Dublin. After watching their video montage at the wedding and learning their courtship then relationship for 8 years, well even Grey’s anatomy can’t match their love story! It goes on to say, take your time in knowing the person you will wake up to every morning for the rest of your life.

Myself,Adly Adnan & Weina Lee, Kimberly

A marriage of culture as one would describe the wedding, everyone was looking forward to a similar theme as my best fried Adly @ the bride’s brother is in a relationship with a Chinese girl. In this country, it takes serious commitment to have an interracial relationship as our political charlatans have instilled fear and stereotyping. It is important to have a companion who shares the same belief in working together against all odds.

The happy family

Marriage is a chapter in the book of love and one discovers hidden plots in the rituals of romance. It is through communication and intimacy where both will find their soul landing place again.

Wedding dance

The beauty of companionship is to have someone you can talk to without fearing being judged and expect only wise words and assurance that it will be alright. I have always heard the saying that a girl will always find a man who shares the same qualities of her father.

Well it may sound awkward but i wish to have a companion who shares the wit, cynical view, passion, and easy approach on love like my father.

It was on the 9.11.11 when my bro picked me up from home at 01.01am. OMG the numbers?? Naah..false alarm.Well regardless, it was still a special day because that was when i first saw bubur girl.

On normal working days, i wouldn’t have agreed on meeting even before 12am and what more of going to a really late night market at Uptown Shah Alam! Ladies and gentleman, yes ada orang actually pergi shopping around that hour. In fact, Digi has sponsored karaoke stage for anyone who has the balls, insanity or those who communicate their feelings better through singing. I have witnessed a man singing, “aku tidak percayakan kau lagi….ooOoo…” at 2.00am without any company or groupie. Mind you, this was going on while people are going around to shop. *clap clap for him.

Now let’s get back to the girl who sold the ‘most delicious’ porridge in shah alam. Ironically i would have never thought of eating around there because this market opens between 12am to 3am everyday! My diet forbids any food intake during these hours and heck i should be in bed and wake up around such hour for Tahjud instead. (An optional prayer performed only when you have taken a nap) *cough

But quick divine intervention was as real as Kim Kardashian’s divorce. Anything could happen no matter how brief it was. When i first saw bubur girl,she reminded of a Japanese actress. Can’t remember her name or the titles of her movies cos well it’s in Japanese, but i was fixated by her genuine smile of a hard working stall owner.

Her bubur was a bit sepah, with dried onions, anchovies, cili padi and some weird garnish, tapi hey cinta memerlukan pengorbanan as they say…Usually i would have come out with a line and chat up a girl but, i rarely meet a Malay girl who would make me stutter. My bro was laughing to himself throughout the awkward moment as she came to our table. It went on like this…

Bubur girl: Ada pesan bubur kan. RM3.50

Me: Uhhhh yea.Ada.(trembling hands reaching for money in wallet)

Bubur girl: (Taps feet) *probably mumbling to herself cepatla bang oi

Bro: Kau sejak bila order bubur?

Me: Aku memang layan la. (should i use a line on her? but shit what bubur line can i come out with and in malay??)

*Nothing happened after except i spilled the free sup kosong because i was overexcited after seeing bubur girl. Aah…it was love *violin

It goes on to say that, sometimes the best things in life happens to you during unexpected dates. How you live your life on that day will then determine its outcome. Give your day a meaning by expecting nothing and trying everything. I should have chat up with bubur girl cos a fraction of my heart was taken by her, but man…i still gotta teach her how to make bubur. (no it is not a pickup line)

Will i go to Uptown Shah Alam to see bubur girl again? Well…time will tell, and if it does end up being unrequited love then i guess i can sing it out at Digi’s karaoke stage.

OOoooohhh cintaaa kauu palsuuu lagi memalsukann…..

My mother is a very religious woman. Having said that, she considers letting herself be seen or even seeing other men for the next 3 months after her husband’s death to be a clear breach of God’s words. In Arabic it’s called Iddah  (Arabic: العدة‎; period of waiting) which  is the period a woman must observe after the death of her spouse or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.

Does this mean she has to stay at home all day for the next 90 days?

Now take note that common sense is what most fundamentalists are lacking. No disrespect to Islam but most insecure Muslims behave as blind sheep.

The prophet would want you to achieve well being and the healing process after losing a loved one works best when you continue to live. Life goes on as they say and inactivity will only create an unhealthy mental space during the course of grieving. I am there myself.

I may not be religious, but I know God would want you to understand His command rather than observing without thought. Creative interpretation can be misleading I admit, but negating the practicality of living is not morally right either.

Mama continues to say that God will oversee everything, don’t worry too much about worldly affairs, and it will work out fine.

No offence to believers but in the words of my brother in law, some things are just beneath God’s interest and He would want you to sort it out. Divine interventions are never direct but it’s always there. You just need to develop awareness.

Perhaps this one last punch will deliver the message. Happy Sunday Everyone.

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and grumbles to God about granting a miracle but had been let down. God chuckles and responds, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, I sent you three boats and a helicopter.”

In my opinion it is a common mistake to accept our innate knowledge over courtship and romance as absolute truth. That would be an outright denial over the uncertainty of human emotion. Seduction on the other hand guarantees an endgame. Instead today I shall elaborate on the adage love is blind or better phrased as blinding love.

If someone tells me that he/she has found the one? I would say watch 500 Days Of Summer first.  Once you’re able to picture bitter reality of Cupid’s broken arrow, you will understand what maturity in love is all about.

Falling for someone is easy. Justifying you love that person is even easier. But once reality of humanity shows both of you are not compatible or better phrased as inconsistent reciprocity of emotion, denial comes naturally.

Love and respect yourself first. Otherwise it’s just sympathy and that puts your relationship on a lifeline support.

Relationships mature by making individuals accept their other half and realise change of character is not within expectation. Each will learn to accept everything that is about the other. The bitter sweet adage of love as blinding makes you a romantic or a defeatist when it comes to your ego.

The question about your ideal lover creates a paradigm of impermanence in true love. Ironic yet reasonable. Simply because one of you or both for that matter was uncertain during the game of courtship. Yes it is a game.

Be honest with yourself. What do you really want?

If you expect him or her to change, stop being selfish and preachy. Walk off and make room for someone who will appreciate your soon to be ex. After all that is part of maturity, realising it’s no longer your flavour of the month.

Sometimes people spend years in a relationship without realising that they have entered a comfortable zone simply because well, they were comfortable. But does that mean they have truly learn to accept one another?

The corruption brought by love is that you soon become lazy to seduce one another. No one said being mature in a relationship means less raunchy sex, less deep conversations and no more constant courtship.

I’m sure Summer Finn would have been more excited if Tom Hansen had suggested something other than pan cakes before she decided to break up. Or was she doing the right thing, to not waste his time.