Marriage is a well-informed decision.
It is natural for the bride and groom to get cold feet nearing big date because doubt comes before being certain on leading a life together.
A friend confided her concern that marriage will rob her privilege of just being a girl. Perhaps worrying she would lose her identity and referred to only as someone’s wife. Her fear was having to trade individuality.
Master Yoda once said;
“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”
Do you want remain silent till death do you part? Sounds like a “Zombified” marriage if you ask me. In fact commitment must never corrode one’s character nor be regarded as a depersonalisation process e.g. choosing to give up your lifestyle because it might offend loved one.
Communicate with each other to understand the value of your relationship. What is the core problem? Why won’t you trust him or her? Who is being silly? An exhaustive list which should never be directed in a form of argument, but a dialogue.
Insecurity is the number one killer in a relationship. Tip for women– find a man who is equally passionate about something else besides you. For the men– find something else to do when you can’t have sex. Bitter truth but communication and sex is the basis of a healthy relationship.
Ideas clutter your mind, not emotion. Organise your thoughts well as if you were writing a To Do list. Ever wonder why grocery shopping is fun when you have a list? Because you don’t have to think about the basic need since it’s written and instead you get to contemplate on your choices.
Why do you think of your ex after a fight? It was the quality he or she had. Their values, sweet memories as romantics put it but not exclusively the person. Pen down your thoughts to dust off trivialities. Understand that it was not the impression of a person but an appreciation of their value.
Go back to rule #1- communicate with your loved one about what you feel is needed to sustain and most importantly without making your ex as a reference. Period.
Ironically my indifference towards love puts me on the right seat to advise couples. Someone once said i’m just bitter and i’ll raise the white flag eventually. It’s a pity some feel that love means resignation, because the golden rule is to;
Think rationally and act sensibly
Always remember, the answer to a man who is on his knee must always be…