Life has been a great teacher. We laugh and cry through the years of learning about ourselves and others, in this temporal egoistic realm. Humanity has a lot to offer but as God bear my witness, I am that sheep waiting for the shepherd to guide me home.
Nothing prepares you for the death of a love one. He was always there on my birthday no matter what. We had a birthday lunch at Istana Hotel despite him not being able to taste and what more enjoy the food due to his chemotherapy. Yet there was abah putting up a cheeky smile as always, in my last birthday celebration photo last year.
This year has been a special one nevertheless, for the best gift I have received is being the head of the Yazid clan. His name came from a Muslim warrior, who fought in the wrong camp during one of the epic battles which was reflected in my late father’s life discourse as well.
Today I have learnt about acceptance, forgiveness and the meaning of love and making sacrifices. The lesson began on the day I went to perform my Umrah with abah and mama 3 years ago.
Everyone goes through different phases in their life that will bring them closer to self discovery. Drawing to the centre of our soul keeps us grounded in the abstract universe we live in. Solitude in religion only means undergoing the study of god’s artwork. A preacher will interpret the study to make it comprehensible and appealing. Devotees are those claiming to have esoteric knowledge of the divine, with an ego to defend what they have learned against those who simply prefer to deviate.
Even Muslims must first learn about Islam to become one.
The prophet s.a.w. was a mortal. His teachings are of divine words which came from God and his practices are still measured to the standards of being a Muslim leader. A Sheikh once advised me on my query on the matter of spirituality in Islam and how am I expected to cover one eye to the moral conduct of a Muslim who has been entrusted to lead his people i.e. by referring to corrupt politicians.
His summarized answer was that spirituality concerns matters of the heart and by practicing the unequivocal divine teachings i.e. hadith we may then find peace in the unison of mind and body of a Muslim and I should never trust a politician using Islam as a cloak.
I will not pass judgment to those I feel have bastardised Islam to satisfy their ego because I am not in their shoes and it is beyond my promise that I would have done things differently. Wallahualam.
At 27, I have learnt to accept that forgiveness is fundamental in any form of love, with the need to sacrifice our ego thinking we deserve more than what we have received. Amin.