May belongs to Mama

This month belongs to my mother.

A wonderful woman, parent, educator and a friend. Born in May 10, we usually celebrate her birthday on Mother’s Day to give that touch  of a concerted celebration of birth and motherhood. Despite her active pursuit in learning more about Islam every day, mama is perfectly fine when it comes to celebrating Mother’s Day. She is never insecure about her faith.

Her background as an educator has somewhat shaped her into an inspiring yet authoritative leader. And  with much affection throughout the years although i never seem to enjoy such during my first year of primary school even when my own mother was my class teacher!

I never got it easy with mama in school and i guess that is why i can never understand the basis of cronyism. My own mother picked on me just because i was being friendly and chatty with the girl who sat next to me in class. Pfft…To think that she would give me a free A so i could impress everyone, well i guess these days your mother can only do that if she has millions of cows to give away.

Mama was a cikgu bahasa and she was good. I mean till this day, saya masih boleh menguasai prosa dan peribahasa melayu walaupun saya belajar di sekolah swasta di mana bahasa perantaraan yang digunakan was English. It was a mix of malay, melanau, iban, chinese and mat salleh kids who made Borneo felt more of home. Nowadays we have to remind ourselves that we are at home through expensive marketing campaigns. Talk about one of the causes to a 54% deficit in this country.

These days she is more of a friend and even more since dad’s passing. We still annoy each other for the fact that we are both Taureans, and she comes from a rough family. Mama struggled in life and gave up her dream to look after us when abah had to work abroad. Sometimes i feel bad that she has put her life on hold for the family. I learnt a lot about egoless love from her all these years.

Ever since as a child i kept telling myself that i am the man of the house yet the self imposed role will cease each time my two sisters; ayong and aa bullied me. It was frustrating whenever i was not to be taken seriously while all i wanted to do was to assure mama that all is good and earn my badge from abah.

I am most thankful however as mama will always keep the love running in our family. She kept strong for everyone and made sure we all had a ‘normal’ life. Nothing was normal about her marriage and relationship yet she believed in  selfless love.

Certainty was always lacking in my life as i find that mama and i shared the same dream only to have it broken. It has taken this long but i finally realise that mama you are my soul mate and if it’s alright i am in love with someone too.

Happy birthday Hamsiah Sidek semoga Allah lanjutkan usia kamu. (Just had to make this classic wish)


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