Validation

The sum of all things is best said in a word. What would that word be for your 2012?

Bang, chaos, different, amazing, those were some of the words my friends have chosen. It doesn’t take much effort to understand their yearlong journey. The complexity of a narration saved by their clarity of thought. Such is a promise of having the right words.

Our dreams, promises, goals are mere formalities in life. Truthfully had we simply accept to have none it is stil perfectly fine. The paradox of possession is that you are the demand creator. Stepping into the pitfalls of materialism is easy but peer pressure has made it simpler.

My year’s ‘word’ would be validation. Proving to be a responsible man.

After four months of grieving over the death of my best friend who happens to be my father (later I realised was not enough), I felt the clock officially started ticking to prove my self-worth.

He was my mentor in every aspect and a spiritual guide during my lost days. My constant communication with him despite our distance kept my sanity intact. Thus it was so hard to not hate him for leaving without handing a manual. Every other religion suffered the same dilemma. Those who have better knowledge become a point of reference.

My brother in law, Martin was our saviour. He made sure the family got better and walked me through the process of taking charge even till today. We all need a little bit help sometimes and it’s never too hard to ask for it. 

Guided by a resolution list to make good for myself, I narrowed it down to love, career/passion, religion, family estate, mama’s future, improving relationship with extended family and learning forgiveness. My year was well lived save for some small setbacks, it was validated.

The trick in life is to never assume you know enough. I have made my mistakes in this area and I certainly wish I could undo them. That goes on to say the second trick is to accept and move on. You owe that much to yourself.

Three quarters of a year that I sought validation in my ability to be in a relationship. I was considered not responsible enough to care for another. I accept these criticisms, which helped me, learn more about myself. Question is would the critic be honest enough to look inside the mirror? Well the third trick in life is to not be imposing. Your standards may differ.

The art of living is not that hard to master. You only have to create a system that is better than your mind. It’s easy to get distracted. Staying focus requires motivation. Routines will always set the trajectory. Fundamentals are the blocks of fun.

And always have an exit point. The fall of most leaders, drug lords, rock stars is that when they simply don’t know when to quit.

Set your milestones and remember the fourth trick in life is to never limit your battlefronts.

We question if there is enough time for our pursuits. The answer has always been in the question itself. Call it the Pinocchio paradox, are we lying to ourselves about what we really want?

Happy 2013 and I wish everyone all the best in learning the best lesson in life. Your true self.

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