Hormone Of Love

Sometimes it takes a little bit of science to understand the art of love.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Romance and temperance  is determined by the level of oxytocin – the hormone of love.

After reading an interesting article by Julia Gumm, I began searching for journals related to this ‘Moral Molecule’ as coined by Paul Zak. The subject goes far enough to enter an area that i had encountered before while learning about spirituality. Tantric.

Today however I will talk about oxytocin and maybe a little bit on the neurochemistry of sex.

What is Oxytocin?
A hormone released by the pituitary gland and is best known for its roles in sexual production. i.e. hormone of labor, breast-feeding and perhaps pair bonding.

What does it really do?
Relieves pain in fibromyalgia patients, vanquish fear and anxiety, increase commitment to your partner, reduce voluntary caloric intake without slowing the metabolism. It also improves wound healing, prevents breast cancer, increases one’s sense of generosity, wellness, ease, trust and happiness.

How do you secrete it?
Have sex with a partner (or yourself) that results in orgasm.

Say what?
Oxytocin works on the amygdala, the part of the brain that makes you afraid, tense and worried about controlling your behavior. Can there be a better antidote to tension and freaking out about controlling oneself than the release of a rollicking orgasm?

When and why is this important?
Turns out, this one little molecule might be the biological basis for love.

We’ve all had our fair share of conflicts in past relationship. Till today, the human ego is attributed as the main cause for failure. Perhaps it’s about time to understand why men are blamed for not knowing what they have and women don’t know what they want in this crazy little thing called love.

“Initially, during the honeymoon period of our relationship, we remain strongly bonded by high oxytocin levels, and quickly overcome our hormonal blues by having more sex. Initially sex stimulates us to crave for more sex. This leads to rapid rises and falls in dopamine levels and corresponding rapid emotional fluctuations in our relationship” ~Walter Last

The guy is always blamed for hanging out too much with his mates, spends too much time at the gym, and even having too many female companions. Of course vice versa for the girl but only substitute gym with beauty treatment. Certainly love is a game of psychology played by the rules of cognitive behavior.

In a relationship it’s all about making yourself feel good through your partner. That is why the Axe effect works because women like men who smell good. The good advertisements merely enhances the notion. Adopting the similar principle, men do not like pushy women. It reminds them of their nagging  mother, classroom teacher, or other authoritarian female figure. Just as how the North Koreans are programmed to think they would be lost without their leader, a guy feels emasculated when his partner indoctrinates her belief. Period.

We don’t mind you taking the top position. Just keep in mind we don’t experience multiple orgasm so bear with us. On that matter that is why Tantric helps.

“In neotantra the most important features of sexual practice revolve around the experience of subtle energies within one’s sensual embodiment, and the accessing of these energies both to enhance pleasure and to challenge our egotism into its dissolution. Thus, tantric sexuality often cultivates ecstatic consciousnessas well as increased spiritual awareness of the erotic consciousness that pervades one’s human embodiment as well as everything that contextualizes this embodiment.” ~Nitya Lacroix

The prescription to an everlasting love fairytale does not come from reading countless self help books and waiting for the right penguin. You need to understand yourself, your world and the Creator.

We are an indivisible soul in a divisible body. Our temporal existence in this material world hinders our enlightenment. By believing on something greater than your existence, you will realise that love is a painting on God’s canvas.

Time is all you need to appreciate good art.



  1. cinta ada lah seperti ketika Siti Khadijah r.a memeluk Rasulullah s.a.w yang sedang menggeletar turun berlari dari gua hira’… tatkala Jibrail turun menyampaikan wahyu pertama dari Allah swt…

    Cinta adalah seperti Allah swt menurunkan ayat Ad-Dhuha melalui Jibrail a.s kepada Rasulullah s.a.w ,setelah berbulan bulan…memujuk, menenangkan hati kekasihNya. Sebelum itu, Rasulullah s.a.w menyangka Allah swt tidak lagi menyayangi dia…

    cinta adalah seperti betapa gembiranya Aisyah r.a ketika Rasulullah s.a.w mendoakan supaya diampunkan dosa isterinya tiap tiap hari…itu lah juga doa Rasulullah s.a.w terhadap umatnya- tiap tiap hari..

    bertasbih cinta terhadap Allah yg satu dan selawat juga akan membawa kita ke telaga Al-kauthar, di mana Rasulullah s.a.w akan tunggu kita disitu.. insyaallah..di akhirat nanti…

    :). Assalamu’alaikum

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